Ok...here's one I need help on this week:
A grandparent spanked my oldest last week while we were staying in said grandparent's home. Curly was disobeying my direction to get dressed and ran into the living room. Grandparent went in to get him, Curly got upset and apparently hit his grandparent in the face.
I heard the commotion and asked what happened when they walked back down the hall. Grandparent responded with "He's fine" and no more detail. Curly told me what happened right then and I explained to the grandparent that I would attend to the fact that Curly hit but that it was NOT Ok for Grandparent to spank my son.
I was shaken and really upset afterward. I felt awkward spending the last two days of our vacation there. I told Mr. P who agreed with me on all accounts. Grandparent has advised us before to use spanking more often as a discipline strategy, but Mr. P and I both agree that we're really not ok with it.
Should I address the situation again? Thoughts?
Anything you want help thinking through? Post and let us know..we'll try to be of service =)
Thursday, February 18, 2010
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Sorry, I can't help, I am only 13 but I find it a bit unusual: all the kids I know say that grandparents try to make parents less strict! Mine too, cos my parents regularly spank me with the belt or cord and grands say they are too strict. It seems in your case it is opposite.
ReplyDeleteKlom boy
if it were merely a disciplinary action i would agree with you, since it was a direct response to being hit in the face, i am tending to side with grandpa - i mean grandparent - on this one. of course i don't plan to start hitting my kids when they hit me but i don't think it's such a bad lesson for kids to learn that when they hit people, sometimes they get hit back.
ReplyDeletei think i was in a rush to type my last comment as i was running out the door...wanted to be more clear. i still do believe everyone has a right to defend themselves from physical attack. i do not choose to hit as a consequence for hitting because i want to model a bit of restraint but you better believe i'm grabbing those fighting arms strongly to stop the behavior, and throwing in a tight squeeze for good measure.
ReplyDeletei certainly do not think it's a "good idea" for people to hit our children. it would be prudent to have a talk with the grandparent about your expectations...that even though you understand why s/he hit your son, you also want to point out what it teaches children about self-control when adults aren't even willing to control themselves.
sorry that happened!! :-S