Friday, April 2, 2010

Prepare to be queasy, but avoiding it all is easy...=)

Don't read this article about germs while multi-tasking at email and eating your lunch..

I'm a germaphobe of the highest degree. My kids know what to do when I spray their hands with "Sprinkles" i.e., CleanWell. I have bottles of it in both cars, all diaper bags, my wallet tote and individual wipes stashed in every crevice.

Why? Because I've been a teacher for almost 10 years and I've seen it all?


Because I had younger brothers and I've seen it all?


Because I'm a mom of three boys and I've seen it all?


Because I've had my dogs crap in the house and I've seen it all?


All of the above, frankly, but most importantly I have a vivid imagination tossed in with my OCD.

I was the first person to toss my paper towel on the floor outside the restroom door because I used it to touch the handle when exiting. I've been squatting over toilet seats since the mid-80's. I clean, spray, re-spray, wash, wipe, re-spray, wash my hands so much that during the winter, they crack and bleed.

I hate germs. I hate my germs and other people's germs. I hate your germs.

Sorry. I can only imagine where your hands have been or more where they've touched and the unsanitary habits of the person who touched that before you. No offense.

My kids don't go in sandboxes unless I'm drunk. At the park. And if they do, I hose them down with CleanWell for 30 minutes afterward. Kidding. Sort of.

Am I neurotic about it? Yes. Am I healthier than the average bear? Yes. And so are my kids. Is it all a crapshoot? Maybe. But I'm not taking that chance with RandomGuy's fecal matter. Are you?

By the way, the cafeteria and drinking water spout rating doesn't surprise me. There is a fountain right next to the door of my classroom and the germs wave at me as I pass. If you want to make friends with these creatures, be my guest. But don't come over to my house for a playdate.


  1. This makes me laugh, I think I'm the complete opposite.

    I don't even know what Clean Well is.

    Oh, the shame...

  2. My husband and I are both armed with hand sanitizer and we all follow the routine of washing our hands after taking our shoes off when we get home.

    What did you do when everyone was freaking out about the swine flu?!

  3. the dog crapping in your house comment made me laugh so hard, i disturbed W while he was feeding!


Couldn't you just eat this one up? Did it not wet your appetite? What are you craving next? Let me know!